I wake and my mind begins to wander.
It’s 6:17am as I write this. What a fitting time. The date of my birth. I wonder what that means. Maybe this is exactly that: my time.
As I think about my life right now, I wonder about a lot of things. My mind goes in one million different directions. My desires boil to the top along with the other hundred day to day questions I continue to ask myself. And if you’re wondering the span of their realm? Well, it goes from purchasing a car, relocating my roots, figuring out how you know you are (or in my case, were) with the right person, to asking myself honestly what makes me happy; what are MY wants?
If someone had all the answers and started rattling them off I’d probably get excited at first. But the more I think about losing the choice or taking this time to figure out myself, option one feels evermore unappealing. I’m looking for guidance; not the answer. I’m looking for direction, not to lose sight of myself. And those are really powerful points to remember when moving through life.
If you sat and asked yourself why something wasn’t working, I suspect you’d begin to observe the object, its minute details, and unveil its visible or even hidden truths before focusing on those components to get it back to its working state. But is it just as easy if the situation involves your soul? What about two souls; two physical bodies? And the object in question is not an object at all but your life. Is it possible to uncover those truths and work to bind them in a way you’ve never witnessed before? Make the parts mesh together in a fashion that suits both entities? You tell me.
I’m trying to figure it all out. I don’t know what you all spend your time thinking about but I just feel like a head without a body sometimes. I’m looking in all these different directions but have no clarity on which way to go. And as I write that statement out, the first thought that pops into my head is ‘ground yourself, Jen.’ I need to ground myself and look inward. The more I can do that, the more the truth will arise and my energy will again radiate beyond me.
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